Thursday, August 17, 2006

Are Democrats Too Stupid to Count Votes?

NOTE: Cross-posted from Right-Angle Blog.

Gee Kelso, why are you being so hard on a party just brimming with fine folks?

From the Akron Beacon Journal:

Democrats criticized Secretary of State J. Kenneth Blackwell on Wednesday for potential electronic voting machine mishaps in Cuyahoga County.

Democrat Jennifer Brunner, who is running for Blackwell's job, called for an investigation into a charge by the Election Science Institute that electronic voting machines made by Green-based Diebold lost ballots in Cuyahoga County's May primary election.

Her Republican opponent, Greg Hartmann, would not say whether the company was at fault. Instead, his spokesman, Mark Weaver, called for a complete audit of the Secretary of State's Office.

Diebold takes issue with the study's findings.

``The conclusion of the reports were an error,'' Diebold spokesman Mark Radke said. ``Basically, it was a flawed audit.''

``Here we go again,'' said state Rep. Dan Stewart, D-Columbus, who serves on the House Elections and Ethics Committee. ``I think one of the safest ways for folks to vote this year is going to be vote early and vote absentee, where you have a definite verified paper trail.''

James Lee, spokesman for the Secretary of State's Office, said the apparent problems in Cuyahoga County are an anomaly. He said Stark County had five recounts using the same technology and didn't have any problems.

In fact, 49 of Ohio's 88 counties used Diebold machines and only Democratic-stronghold Cuyahoga County reported malfunctions, Lee said.

Brunner acknowledged more training was needed in Cuyahoga County.

"Vote early and vote absentee?" Well, that's better than the usual Democrat rallying cry, often heard at your local cemetery, of "vote early and vote often!" It was, if you remember, the Democrat Party which called for electronic voting after several Democrat voters in Florida found themselves incapable of poking holes in a piece of paper. Now they are complaining that their poll workers cannot work simple machines.

In the spirit of brotherhood and in an attempt to reach across the aisle, I respectfully offer some alternative voting techniques that Democrat counties could adopt along with their possible downsides:

* Colored rocks (red for Democrat, Blue for Republican) -- some folks are colorblind; leave it to a Republican to try and disenfranchise the people!

* Old-fashioned paper ballots -- Democrat voters may confuse them with a different kind of paper and light up.

* Have ACORN paid "volunteers" fill out the ballots for the voters -- while it would probably be good enough for Snow White and Fidel Castro, some of your voters may want to do it themselves.

* A show of hands -- while the hippie days are over and most flower children have surely taken showers by now, if you live amongst Kucinich voters, do you really want to take the chance?

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