Monday, November 06, 2006

The 1st Annual Kelso Election Day Spectacular

Welcome my friends to the show that will end the day after the election (this has been a long election season and we all need to take a break). Below you will find my endorsements, predictions of both Ohio and other national races that interest me and enough witty and urbane commentary to keep you and your friends riveted for a whole half an hour or so. So, now that the ol’ crystal ball has been polished, let’s begin!

Do not believe the hype: The GOP will control the House by 2 and the Senate by 1. Hillary will become president in 2008 and shortly thereafter the GOP will make major gains all over the country including veto-proof majorities in both houses!

Ohio Governor: To say that Ken Blackwell has run a bumpy campaign would be an understatement. From crushing conservative hearts with the dumping of forced governmental fiscal responsibility (TEL) to the playing with socialized medicine to the obvious signs of the Ohio liberal Republican establishment on his campaign, Ken did not run the campaign that most conservatives would have predicted. Still, he remains within striking distance (hence the attempts to depress the conservative vote).

Sadly, I must be honest with you dear reader and the major reason that I endorse Ken Blackwell for governor of the great state of Ohio revolves around Bob Taft. I am frankly tired of Taftian economics and can hardly bear the thought of Tax … er … Ted Strickland’s continuance of Taft’s job-killing ways. Furthermore, you can count on Ted to force his far-left values on all of us and the idea of having the government force my family and I to bow to the left’s bizarre “morality” sickens me. I will even go so far as to predict that Strickland will abandon his pro-gun stance if gun control would once again come into vogue.

Prediction: As I stated earlier, the crystal ball remains cloudy due to the wild card of the black vote; one area that Blackwell has done in well is with his “urban” campaign. I fear that he will lose (by no more than 5 points), but cannot right him off even now. Note to the Ohio GOP: GOTV!!!!!

Ohio Senator: Even up to this weekend I had planned to leave this one blank, but the Democrat Party has convinced me to vote against them by pressing the pretty red light by DeWine’s name. DeWine has shown a sickening desire to sleep with Democrats and I feel that he does it sometimes for no reason other to spit in conservative’s eyes. The nastiness of Democrats this cycle has surpassed any campaign season in my memory. Sherrod Brown is a far-far left incompetent that will do nothing but divide Americans. I don’t necessarily think that that is a bad thing as I do not want to be united with the traitorous, perversion that is the modern Democrat Party. That said, who wants this knucklehead telling Americans what to do and forcing his immorality on innocent people?

Please do not take this as an “endorsement” of DeWine or even a call to vote strategically. If you feel that you cannot bring yourself to vote for the RINO, walk away from the polls with clean hands and a clean conscience.

Prediction: DeWine was never far behind and will squeak out a 5-10 % victory.

State Issue 2 (raising the minimum wage): I do not wish to make it harder for seniors and poor people to get jobs. As such, I will vote with a slight majority of Ohioans to defeat Issue 2.

State Issue 3 (Allowing slots at selected race tracks with some proceeds going to higher education): As I have no strong position either way on gambling, I had originally planned to cast no vote on this amendment, allowing the people of Ohio to decide for themselves. I have changed my mind. To the mind of a young man, you must imagine my anger when I read of the FBI arresting folks in suburban Maryland and Northern Virginia (where I lived and worked at the time) for running pyramid schemes and then looking at my paychecks and seeing that the same federal government was running a pyramid scheme themselves with an unconstitutional program known as Social Security.

Little has changed. I urge you to end Ohio’s monopoly over gambling, take away their power to arrest little old ladies playing cards and pass Issue 3.

Prediction: Soon, but not yet. Issue 3 will fail by less than 6% of the vote.

State Issue 4 (The “Smoke Less Ohio” amendment that would return freedom to business owners to allow smoking in their establishments (with some restrictions)): I would vote for this amendment even if I did not smoke. We the people have no right to tell PRIVATE business owners what they must do in this area. I wish that it was not necessary to amend the constitution, but this is a desperate last resort at stopping raging lefties (and a few misguided folks on the right) from overstepping their powers as citizens. As the amendment requires restaurant owners who choose to allow smoking to create a non-smoking area that is physically separated from smoking areas, only the busybody should vote against this common sense measure.

Prediction: Let freedom ring! Issue 4 will pass by almost 10%!

State Issue 5 (The draconian “Smoke Free Ohio” state law that would prohibit not only smoking in almost every public (but privately owned) place, it would even prohibit clean, empty ashtrays sitting on top of a bar!!!!!!): Irrelevant as Issue 4 is a constitutional amendment and would override this big government lover’s dream.

Prediction: Issue 5 will pass by 3-5% -- and then be dumped in the ashtray of history!

State Races:

Attorney General

Name(s)

Party

Marc Dann

Democrat

Betty Montgomery

Republican

Endorsement: Neither deserves to win thus I will vote for neither.

Prediction: I despise the power-hungry candidate, but unfortunately Betty will win.

Auditor of State

Name(s)

Party

Barbara Sykes

Democrat

Mary Taylor

Republican

Prediction: Though the race is too close to call, one thing is sure: the winner of this race will be PRETTY!

Secretary of State

Name(s)

Party

Jennifer L. Brunner

Democrat

Greg Hartmann

Republican

Timothy J. Kettler


John A. Eastman


Prediction: Brunner will win by less than 5%.

Treasurer of State

Name(s)

Party

Richard Cordray

Democrat

Sandra O'Brien

Republican

Prediction: Though I believe that O’Brien may wind up surprising us all (and I hope that she does), I predict a Cordray win of 5%+.

Selected US House of Representatives races:

U.S. Representative (District 1)

Name(s)

Party

John Cranley

Democrat

Steve Chabot

Republican

My Prediction: Chabot by 9%

U.S. Representative (District 2)

Name(s)

Party

Victoria Wuslin

Democrat

Jean Schmidt

Republican

James J. Condit, Jr.

Write-In

Nathan Noy

Write-In

My Endorsement: Schmidt. I am sorry that I ever doubted Rep. Schmidt. Never again!

My Prediction: Schmidt by 9% and this will be that last race that Rep. Schmidt will win by less than 15% of the vote.

U.S. Representative (District 3)

Name(s)

Party

Richard Chema

Democrat

Michael R. Turner

Republican

My Prediction: Turner by 7-10%

U.S. Representative (District 4)

Name(s)

Party

Richard E. Siferd

Democrat

Jim Jordan

Republican

My Prediction: Jordan in a landslide.

U.S. Representative (District 5)

Name(s)

Party

Robin Weirauch

Democrat

Paul E. Gillmor

Republican

My Prediction: Gillmor by 10%.

U.S. Representative (District 6)

Name(s)

Party

Charles A. Wilson Jr.

Democrat

Chuck Blasdel

Republican

My Prediction: The polls say that Wilson will win by 10-15% and it sure makes no sense that an uber-liberal like Wilson should win in this conservative district, but we can’t win them all I guess -- Democrat hold.

U.S. Representative (District 7)

Name(s)

Party

William R. Conner

Democrat

Dave Hobson

Republican

My Endorsement: This is my district and even though Rep. Hobson as a little too many RINO tendencies, I will give him the benefit of the doubt this time around.

My Prediction: Hobson by 20+ percent.

U.S. Representative (District 8)

Name(s)

Party

Mort Meier

Democrat

John A. Boehner

Republican

My Prediction: Forgitaboutit! Boehner by 15+ percent.

U.S. Representative (District 12)

Name(s)

Party

Bob Shamansky

Democrat

Pat Tiberi

Republican

My Prediction: The district of my birth; Tiberi by 5+ percent -- Republican hold.

U.S. Representative (District 13)

Name(s)

Party

Betty Sutton

Democrat

Craig Foltin

Republican

My Prediction: Foltin in a major RINO and yet he will still lose to Betty by 15+ percent -- Democrat hold.

U.S. Representative (District 15)

Name(s)

Party

Mary Jo Kilroy

Democrat

Deborah Pryce

Republican

Bill Buckel

Write-In

My Endorsement: Please: if you live in the 15 District, cast a ballot for Deborah Pryce. She deserves reelection and Kilroy is literally a nutcase. My family is barely getting by and she rushed to raise taxes and hurt my family.

My Prediction: Pryce by 4% -- Republican hold.

U.S. Representative (District 18)

Name(s)

Party

Zack Space

Democrat

Joy Padgett

Republican

My Endorsement: None. I do not trust Joy Padgett.

My Prediction: Too close to call.

Selected Ohio House:

State Representative (District 19)

Name(s)

Party

Marian Harris

Democrat

Larry L. Flowers

Republican

My Endorsement: This is my district and though I believe that it is about time that Rep. Flowers let’s a more conservative candidate take his place, that time is not now.

My Prediction: Flowers by 20%+.

State Representative (District 24)

Name(s)

Party

Ted Celeste

Democrat

Geoffrey C. Smith

Republican

My Prediction: Another Celeste in office? YUCK!!!!!

State Representative (District 30)

Name(s)

Party

Bill Seitz

Republican

My Endorsement: Though he has a tendency to go off the deep end occasionally, he deserves your support.

State Representative (District 34)

Name(s)

Party

Stephen E. Silver

Democrat

Tom Brinkman Jr.

Republican

My Endorsement: Though he has a tendency to go off the deep end occasionally, Tom Brinkman Jr. also deserves your support.

State Representative (District 37)

Name(s)

Party

Jon Husted

Republican

My Endorsement: If nobody voted for him, he could lose!!!!!! :)

State Representative (District 69)

Name(s)

Party

Jack Schira

Democrat

William G. Batchelder

Republican

My Endorsement: Batchelder ! Batchelder! Batchelder!

My Prediction: Batchelder! Batchelder! Batchelder!

Selected Ohio Senate:

State Senate (District 3)

Name(s)

Party

Emily Kreider

Democrat

David Goodman

Republican

My Endorsement: My current district and even though I disagree with Sen. Goodman’s stance on gay “marriage,” he has earned my support.

My Prediction: Goodman by 20%+

State Senate (District 15)

Name(s)

Party

Ray Miller

Democrat

John M. Roscoe

Republican

My Prediction: My old district and even though Miller is a corrupt racist, he will win by a landslide.

Selected National Races:

Maryland: Michael Steele will WIN! By 5%!

Pennsylvania: Though he deserves to win, Rick Santorum, one of my top 5 in the entire congress, will lose out to the last name of his challenger and that’s a shame!

Missouri: Talent will win by 5%+ and the human cloning amendment will fail.

Nevada: Via one of the worse dirty tricks in recent memory, the Democrap candidate for governor will win and that’s also a shame!

California: The big one will win.

Rhode Island: The “Republican” will win and that makes me sad.

Connecticut: Joe will win by 10%+.

Tennessee: Corker will win by 4% even though he was the least conservative in the GOP primary. Harold Ford deserves better and should change parties – he is just too nice to be a Democrat.

2 comments:

LargeBill said...

Steve,

Those are some bold predictions. I hope you're right on most. I really hope you confused the Rhode Island and Pennsylvania senate races. Something wrong with a world which has Chafee winning and Santorum losing.

Tomorrow night should be interesting.

Steven J. Kelso Sr. said...

I'm with you on Rhode Island and Pennsylvania :|